Saturday, February 6, 2010

Of Eagles and Ducks

Some weeks ago, I came across an advert in the local dailies about an upcoming motivational talk by a “world renown” author and speaker. His name fails me.

The talk was to cover how to get to the top of the field and soar with the eagles in the financial world. Titled, “Are you an eagle or a duck?”, the workshop was meant to make eagles of ducks.

It sounded interesting and very motivating... until I got to the charges. A whole Sh65,000 for, wait for it, one day! At that point I figured that I might as well be a duck than an eagle. If I can afford Sh65,000 aren’t I an eagle already, or at least a swan? I mean, such an amount should at the very least buy me a plane ticket – so I will be soaring anyway.

Come to think of it, while being an eagle might look and sound exciting, ducks don’t get sucked into plane engines.

Here’s another thought: as a duck, why not save the Sh65,000, which I can then use to pay for a two-week holiday somewhere at the coast? And by the way, don’t eagles fly alone? So what would all those eagles be doing in the same place?

Motivational speakers are brilliant business people. Pay all that money only for some guy to tell you how you need to set aside some money and invest in a profitable cause. Excuse me, didn’t I just part with my capital money to attend this workshop? So much for being an eagle!

Part with Sh65,000 and all you get to do is fill out a questionnaire to determine if you are a happy with your life or if you have what it takes to become rich.

I have never attended such high profile ‘eagle meetings’ but I do know there is nothing about attending one that will really change my life – apart from being Sh65,000 poorer.

Want to know the secret of being a millionaire? Simple, don’t spend your Sh65,000 a day on a workshop that will tell you everything you probably already know. For Sh65,000 I better come out of that workshop with a multi-year government tender or, at the very least, something to attach to my CV that will get me a job as an expatriate.

Who really is the duck in this case? Is it me who decides that I have better use for my money or the bloke who spends such a hefty amount to listen to some other dude talk about how he got to the top?

On top of all that, I still have to buy his damn book! Am I the only one who doesn’t see this for what it is – a brilliant business opportunity for the motivational speaker?

Heck, I need to become a motivational speaker and travel the world reciting my life story to some multi-millionaires who want to know the secret to making your first million.

Like I said, eagles may soar but ducks don’t get sucked into jet engines! I am an eagle, but I fly economy.

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