LETTER TO MY 13-YEAR-OLD SELF

Wsup kiddo, no, don't fret it's me. I mean you. Yes, it is you from the future. Confusing right? Sorry. It is 2010 and I know you are somewhere studying hard for your KCPE exams. I know mom keeps talking about education being the true inheritance she can give you and although it doesn't make sense, she's right.

I am all grown up and boy am I having fun. I know you received a good beating from mum today just like yesterday and I can bet tomorrow too. You are one energetic kid Phil and she has to ensure that you grow up to be a respectable man in society. I'm happy to say she accomplished that task and she is happy with what I turned out to be. Your baby sister no longer sucks her thumb and your big sister actually loves you despite hitting you on a daily basis.

They all love you and you will grow closer and stronger together. Respect women, they run the world for sure. All that talk about men being the stronger sex is a big fat lie. Women run the 21st Century. All men do is pretend to protect them.

For someone who got his first suspension in nursery school and threatened to drop out of school at standard one if she didn't move you from Michinda Boys where you were to join boarding school in class four, let me say I am proud you will not grow up to a be rabble-rouser.

Next year in form one, you will be suspended not for something you did, but because of that big mouth you were so blessed with. But don't try to tame that mouth, it will come in handy later. Trust me.

You will meet a fellow called Wachira in High School and he will make your life hell. If you can stay away from him, the better. Students from Kieni Girls will confuse the puberty and adolescent in you. They are pretty girls and very sharp too and you will find yourself "pushing" with some although you will never see them again after high school.

All that talk about you marrying them after school is a lie; she's married and has two kids. I saw her yesterday and she's expecting her third child! Ok, enough with girls. You will not like Maths at any one point in your life. This is pretty much where you and maths part ways but don't worry, you will not be a engineer or anything like that. Phew!

High school will be fun, you will meet some fellows called Mungai, Jackson Kamau and Wallace. You will start rapping and fool yourselves that you can be the next big thing after Kalamashaka. Let me be frank, you won't. Even Mizizi won't feature you but you will be entertaining other students during Drama and Music festivals where you will be mini celebrities and the girls will love you. Not bad, right?

College will be fun, study hard and make mummy proud. She will buy you tons of those shiny things they put on your neck at graduation and force you to wear them in all the pictures. Don't fret, they will provide moments of laughter later on.

Enjoy being a kid, having no worries in life knowing that whatever you want will be provided for. You are a responsible guy with a bright future, don't waste it.

Peace,
From your future,
Phil