A Kenyan on vacation

Kenyans are a peculiar lot like one Michael Joseph once claimed and was almost ran out of town.

But there are signs to show that this is indeed true. Take what Kenyans do while on vacation.

Kenyans spend half of their working time dreaming about going on vacation and resting. When they finally get to Mombasa, Naivasha, Nanyuki or Nakuru, they will do everything else but rest.

They will hang out every single waking moment, dance themselves lame, shout themselves horse, drink themselves silly and stare their eyes blind.

Ask any soul that was in Mombasa over the Christmas and New Year how many hours they slept. Want to bet that in the ten days, there are guys who slept a combined 10 hours?

Club Lambada and Bobs were the main reason for this self induced insomnia. Guys would rave for 12 hours straight. From midnight to midday, leave the club, catch some forty winks for two hours or less and hit the beach with their poison of choice.

The drinking would start at 3PM until 9PM before it the session would be transferred to Bobs.

You see, Bobs is not that great a club, the music is boring, security guys feel sweet but people love it because that is where Nairobians meet.

It beats all sense why you would escape the concrete and traffic jam laden jungle that is the Capital city only to go and meet everybody you always see back home. But hey, we are Kenyans right? You wouldn't understand.

The ladies who feel sweet for guys in Nairobi are extremely friendly when they are out of town. So if there is a girl you have been following in vain, just know when she’s headed to Mombasa and you will be in luck.

So after all the rave, it is time to go home and what do Nairobians do, they intoxicate themselves further with the slim hope they will sleep on their way back.

That never happens, they keep slipping in and out of slumber to make sure the levels of their intoxication is constantly rising. They get to Mtito Andei and they refill further.

You would think after a week or two in Mombasa, one would be ready to get to work. No, not Kenyans, they will need a day or two so as they can get the rest they were to take in the first place.

Now, check, the itinerary of a foreigner, they check into the hotel, sleep and then the rest of the days will be spent at the beach getting a tan, snorkeling or kite surfing.

Save for those who come for the sex tourism, the rest get as much rest as possible that when they go back home, they can work for a year straight.

But that’s boring to a Kenyan. Don’t expect me to sleep on vacation.