Recently, my favourite television host Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear was on the receiving end after he called the British Prime Minister a “one eyed idiot”.
He apologised but he received some nasty backlash from the public through death threats, people spitting at him and calling him names and my favourite, getting CDs of the Sugarbabes and James Blunt sent to his house.
Now, the music is considered as torture by the Brits and that was the reason they sent it to him. That got me thinking, if it was Kenya and people were to send some “torture” music to him, which songs would make it to Clarkson’s door?
It was not hard coming up with names of artistes whose music I would personally buy to ensure he gets good quality “bad music”.
On top of my list would be a compilation CD of tunes from artistes, Mr Lenny and Choku, these two just keep doing songs even when the crowd clearly hates it.
I would like Clarkson to be really tortured while listening to the two artistes attempting to sing and I would even own up if the authorities started looking for the culprit.
Other songs have to be Nyota Ndogo and Mr Blue, Magwezere by Bugs, Jua Yanyesha by Tattuu, Ti-chi by Kenrazy, Sarafina by Jaguar, Mambo Bado by Wahu, Muadhara by Jimmy Gait and many others that I forget.
But I would not stop at just music, no, no, Clarkson must really regret why he said that to the British PM and so he must suffer visually to and what better way that to get him to watch the full two seasons of Cobra Squad. I would actually send two copies of each incase one has a scratch.
After he is through with that, he will have to watch the Tusker na Milli TVshow and listen to a sorry Barasa and watch a pointless show. Other shows he will have to watch will be Inspekta Mwala, The Prime Time Show and the Coastal shows all over our stations.
By then, he will be begging me to stop and I will but there is one more thing, he will have to stay for one month with Hemedi.